My goal is simple. Live from my awakened heart. Take steps to ensure my heart is always alive and that I'm in touch with it. I've looked over journals from the past 10 years and I see this pattern - one where I'm searching for passion, looking for my heart. I've thought the answer would be found in God healing me in one zap. But it's not so much that I need to be healed (just like a runner doesn't need healing to get his wind, he just needs to practice and build stamina), I NEED TO SOW INTO MY HEART. Take the time and space to feel, to emote. So journal, write, blog, song write, call friends. Get in touch with it. It's a PROCESS, a DISCIPLINE, a JOURNEY. My emotions will follow my actions. Foreplay is a picture of this - you can't just rush in, it doesn't work that way. Write how I want to feel. Do some of the things I used to do - spend time with the LORD and let Him open my heart. I was just saying to Heather (who is planning my birthday celebration) that it's so hard to desire in the land where I'm constantly denying my own desires because of...the responsibilities with family, no money, corrupt desires, etc. I've said "no" so much to them (my desires) that I forget to say "yes" or I don't even have a context for them. Part of this process is meant to put to death desires that are not the real me, the new man me. So let them fall off and in your pursuit of the LORD, Dave, continue chasing after what's really in your heart...the stuff God put in there.
I believe there's life ahead. This is why I'm writing this blog.
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